Is This Real, or it is Just a Part Of the Drama???~

19 feb 2010....

its almost a week after the valentine.... dunno how to say bout my feeling inside... huhu... actually, i kept thinking of him (not in a happy way n not also in a bad way... huhu...) better for me to say, i kept thinking of his behavior.... he seems to avoid me in certain ways n sometimes he cares so much about me... what is he actually felt for me???? does he really like me or just trying to be nice to me or.... i dont know... his behavior seems to be changing from day to day... huhu... one day, he seems like sharing the same feeling that i have n the other day, he just seem like being a friend of mine (no more 'that' feeling..) n the other day, he seems so care about me... he made me so confuse of his feeling n made mine too~ huhu... what does he felt for me actually? what am i to him??? >> a friend, a member, a classmate, an ordinary girlfriend, 'someone' in his heart or etc???? how can i find the answer of this quest??? its really complicated n confusing me... all this while, im the one who start to sms's him.... n after a few tymes, i told myself not to start anything till he does... but he never did... until that one morning, he sms me : Is everything alright? >> he can even made me fly to the moon by just asking this... is this good or im just being a drama queen???? huhu...

But today, one of his sms is actually made my mood goes down... there something happen in his family actually... then i ask how his mother doin after that thing happen... n his answer really dissapointed me... :( he did reply bout his mother n this one sentence really made me down... 'dont bother bout me...' >> OMG!!! What is he trying to tell me???? Salahkah kalau I ambik berat???? This one sentence seem telling me that im a stranger that try to interfere in his life…. OMG…. Seriously im disappointed with him for saying that… he told me once : don’t treat me like a stranger would u???? pleaseee >>> what does this mean??? I cant but he can??? L

Come to think about it, he really treated me like a stranger in certain ways… especially involving his ‘inner’ feeling…. He never want to share what he felt inside…. He think that keeping that all by himself is better rather than express it out to someone…I hope, if he does like me, i wish that he share what ever he felt inside to me coz i dont wanna be treated like a stranger... n if he dont he can still share his feeling n problems to me becoz i am his friend... n i dont want to think much of this becoz it ruined my mood.....

"i kept thinking of his behavior~ is this real or it is just part of the drama????!!!~" >>> betul ke dia suka??? Atau sekadar permainan kata dan masa??? Tak sanggup rasanya kalau ini sekadar satu permainannya.... kerana hati dan perasaan bukan permainan.... huhu...

pepatah melayu ada mengatakan : kalau padi, katakan padi... tidak aku tertampi-tampi.... kalau sudi, katakan sudi... tidak aku ternanti-nanti... huu.... ('A man's got to do what a man's got to do... When he falls for a girl, he'll tell her right away' and if he doesn't, dont ever try to 'play' with her feelings becoz u'll never realize what u will get back later..)