Berhenti Berharap~

hye there.... been busy this few weeks but still i want to spent some time to write something here at my pinky mint page... hehhe...

my current mode : a song by sheila on 7_Berhenti Berharap...

dont know y this song kept repeating in my head like a tape recorder... on monday, i had decided to berhenti berharap towards him... this is because of a few reasons... uhu...

1) im not sure what he felt for me... suka ke, tidak ke... lau suka, suka yang macam mana??? 'suka' or suka as fren or suka macam tu jek??? tak tau nak jawab becoz only him yang ada jawapannya... coz his behavior keep on changing like jarum jam yang berputar.... this one sec, he is like this... another sec, he changed to that... tatau nak rasa apa... huhu...

2) he did mention before, dia nk cari gf yang leh masuk ngan member2 dia.... n member2 dia pun leh masuk ngan gf dia... but then, adala something happen between me n his bestfriend... i went to Perak last weekend (12-14 March) n relationship between me n his bestfriend became worst on that particular weekend... some sort of misunderstanding occur n made his bestfriend hate me so much... huhu... So,i think that he might think hundreds before he want to take me as his special one... huhu...

Better berhenti berharap rather than i put so much hope towards him and at last im the one who suffer... im afraid there is actually no hope and never will be..... huhu...

fyi, its been a while i didn't hug or even touch tiffany... coz i dont want to put so much hope... whenever i saw tiffany, it reminds me of him... then ill start thinking what he felt for me... hhuuhuh..... so, i decided to kept tiffany in the pink bag that he gave before...

as tonight, i think im gonna hug n bring back tiffany in my bed.... rasa rindu lak nak peluk dia ms tidur.... huhu...

hopefully, he is doing alright where ever he is... huhu...

Meet my Tiffany.... :)

Tiffany_one of Valentine's gift from him =)

::Noktah Cinta::

Ternyata semua bicaraku
Tersimpan di dalam hatiku
Ternyata semua soalanku
Tak pernah kau fikir di fikiran

Mengapa kau masih
Mencari kepastian dalam cinta
Dan disini masih
Menanti jawapannya

Korus
Tuhan tolong nyatakanlah
Padanya tentang cinta
Adakah masih diriku di perlukan

Tuhan tunjukkan padanya
Tentang apa yang ku fikirkan
Adakah cinta ini
Perlu untuk dirinya

Berbicara tentang cinta kita
Masih tiada noktah penghujungnya
Berbicara tentang perasaan
Simpan saja semua itu

Mengapa kau masih
Mencari kepastian dalam cinta
Dan disini masih
Menanti jawapannya

SINGER : HAFIZ AF7

:: i love this song very much~ macam seolah-olah sedang bercerita pasal perasaan saya ketika ini dan almost of the time..... :) suara Hafiz dlm lagu ni memang terbaik... lyric pun memang menyentuh hati dan membawa maksud yang mendalam.... credit to song writer n composer!!!~ n of course to Hafiz with a great vocal for such a great song.... Video klip dia pun memang menarik n best sangat-sangat.... so, let the song beat in your heart n the lyrics stay in ur mind.... enjoy..... _Noktah Cinta_ :) ::

Kelahiran Agung~

Salam to all Muslim... :)

hari ini, 12 Rabiulawal 1431H..... Satu hari yang sangat bermakna dalam hidup kita... Tarikh Kelahiran Agung, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W... selawat ke atas baginda...

teringat lagu nasyid zaman sekolah dulu... not sure with the lyrics, hopefully it was right...

12 Rabiul Awal mengisi angkasa

Mengingati Kelahirannya

Menifestrasi Murni, Muhammad

Muhammad dalam kenangan

Bagai Obor Menyinar Dunia

Lahirnya, Hijrahnya, Jihadnya,

Pada Tuhan

Sederap Kaki Melangkah

Mengingati Muhammad

Semarakkan Semangat Keislaman

and another one which are one of my favourite nasyid's song...

"Nabi Anak Yatim" - by Raihan n Nowseeheart

Muhammad.... Muhammad.... Muhammad Mustafa...

Ibunya bernama Aminah

Ayahnya bernama Abdullah

Dilahirkan di Mekah Mukarramah

Ibu susunya, Halimatus-Saadiah

Ayahnya meninggal dunia

Tika Nabi di dalam kandungan

Alangkah sedih pilunya

Ibunya menjaga Baginda

Muhammad Mustaffa....

Semasa di dalam perjalanan

Pulang dari makam suaminya

Aminah jatuh sakit di Abwa'

Kembali ke Alam Baqa'

Tinggallah nabi seorang diri

Hilang insan yang dikasihi

Tinggallah nabi seorang diri

Mengajarnya hidup berdikari

Anak yatim anak yang mulia

Dilindungi Allah setiap masa

Terpadam api di biara Majusi

Runtuhlah istana Kisra Parsi

Mekah diterangi cahaya putih

Tanda lahir Nabi anak yatim

Anak yatim anak yang mulia

Dilindungi Allah setiap masa

Sallallahu Ala Muhammad Sallallahu Alai Wassalam

Sallallahu Ala Muhammad Sallallahu Alai Wassalam

Hidupnya yatim yatim piatu

Tiada ayah tiada ibu

Hidupnya yatim, yatim piatu

Namun Dialah manusia Agung

Selawat dan salam ke atas Junjugan Mulia, Muhammad S.A.W.... semoga Allah merahmati kehidupan umat Muhammad S.A.W.... :)

Salam Maulidur Rasul... :)

Is This Real, or it is Just a Part Of the Drama???~

19 feb 2010....

its almost a week after the valentine.... dunno how to say bout my feeling inside... huhu... actually, i kept thinking of him (not in a happy way n not also in a bad way... huhu...) better for me to say, i kept thinking of his behavior.... he seems to avoid me in certain ways n sometimes he cares so much about me... what is he actually felt for me???? does he really like me or just trying to be nice to me or.... i dont know... his behavior seems to be changing from day to day... huhu... one day, he seems like sharing the same feeling that i have n the other day, he just seem like being a friend of mine (no more 'that' feeling..) n the other day, he seems so care about me... he made me so confuse of his feeling n made mine too~ huhu... what does he felt for me actually? what am i to him??? >> a friend, a member, a classmate, an ordinary girlfriend, 'someone' in his heart or etc???? how can i find the answer of this quest??? its really complicated n confusing me... all this while, im the one who start to sms's him.... n after a few tymes, i told myself not to start anything till he does... but he never did... until that one morning, he sms me : Is everything alright? >> he can even made me fly to the moon by just asking this... is this good or im just being a drama queen???? huhu...

But today, one of his sms is actually made my mood goes down... there something happen in his family actually... then i ask how his mother doin after that thing happen... n his answer really dissapointed me... :( he did reply bout his mother n this one sentence really made me down... 'dont bother bout me...' >> OMG!!! What is he trying to tell me???? Salahkah kalau I ambik berat???? This one sentence seem telling me that im a stranger that try to interfere in his life…. OMG…. Seriously im disappointed with him for saying that… he told me once : don’t treat me like a stranger would u???? pleaseee >>> what does this mean??? I cant but he can??? L

Come to think about it, he really treated me like a stranger in certain ways… especially involving his ‘inner’ feeling…. He never want to share what he felt inside…. He think that keeping that all by himself is better rather than express it out to someone…I hope, if he does like me, i wish that he share what ever he felt inside to me coz i dont wanna be treated like a stranger... n if he dont he can still share his feeling n problems to me becoz i am his friend... n i dont want to think much of this becoz it ruined my mood.....

"i kept thinking of his behavior~ is this real or it is just part of the drama????!!!~" >>> betul ke dia suka??? Atau sekadar permainan kata dan masa??? Tak sanggup rasanya kalau ini sekadar satu permainannya.... kerana hati dan perasaan bukan permainan.... huhu...

pepatah melayu ada mengatakan : kalau padi, katakan padi... tidak aku tertampi-tampi.... kalau sudi, katakan sudi... tidak aku ternanti-nanti... huu.... ('A man's got to do what a man's got to do... When he falls for a girl, he'll tell her right away' and if he doesn't, dont ever try to 'play' with her feelings becoz u'll never realize what u will get back later..)

Me, 'Him' & Great Memories... =)

today, 15th February 2010...(a day after valentine day)

i kept thinking of 'him' rite after i wake up from my sleep...everything i done today lead me to him... i was always thinking of what he had done yesterday... how he treat me, how he share his stories with me, how he wanna spent time with me, how he spoke to me, how patient he listen to all what i'm saying, how he try not to smoke in front of me, how sweet he were when he wanna ask permission from my parents to bring me out (of course i didnt give any chances to that...), how he is actually spending for me and another 'how' things that he had done yesterday... seriously, i keep on smiling whenever i start to think of him... OMG, what is going on with me actually???? did i really fall for him??? seriously??? ..

this are few things happened to us yesterday :

1) he came to pick me up at my apartment n he asked whether he should go up n meet my parents to asked for a permission for bringing up their daughter out... but then, of course i didnt want to coz im so afraid of what my parent would say... huhu... (i rewarded him points for this... :))

2) then we drive to Alamanda to meet his friend there and then we went to Banting for a wedding... I dont even know who's wedding we are actually heading to... he only told me that it was his colleague's wedding and want me to accompany him... when we arrive at the wedding, he treat me really well... OMG, it was really sweet...

3) right after that, he asked me where are we going... then i answered, it is up to him... if he want to sent me back home, he can do so... or if he wanna me to accompany him for some time, then it wouldn't be any problem as well... then, he decide to bring me to Sunway Pyramid... before we arrived at sunway, he stopped by at Esso... he actually want to reload his touch n go card but by the time we arrive there, i was telling my past experience in relationships... he waited for me to finish my stories, then only he go reloaded his touch n go card... ( another points - for patiently waiting for me to finish my stories...huhu.. n also how he wanna spent time with me instead of sending me home... :) )

4) we arrived at sunway pyramid... then i asked him wheather he want to smoke or not... becoz 'all that while' when he were beside me, he just had one cigarette when we reach alamanda... but its outside the car when he was talking to his friend... then he says no... (another points there)... we go to the cinema but then it was fulled... i think most of the couples wanna watch "Valentines" film... so, we decide not to watch movie...

5) then we decided to have a sit at New Zealand Ice-cream and watching the skaters showing there skills down there on the ice... he asked me either i want to have an ice-cream or not... i just tell him that i actually want to have a drink...so, i ordered a fresh orange n he go for green apple juice...then when i want to pay for that, he asked me to go reserve for our sit n left that to him... when he sit beside me, then i asked how much do i need to pay to him n he said, no need... (another points - but im not actually liking that becoz i dont want to 'terhutang budi dgn siapa-siapa'... huhu.. )

6) kesian lak ngan dia sbb kena tahan diri dari smoking in front of me... so, i asked him to go outside n smoke but then, he didnt want to... i paksa2 jugak, then at last dia setuju gak... n this one thing he said before he go off smoking really made me speechless... he said 'THANKS'.... OMG!!!! (another points there... huhu... - this is actually for 'menolak tuk smoking n he say thanks for giving him permission to smoke... huhu..)

7) then we heading to jusco to search for wedding present for our classmate... but then, one of my friend call and says she were heading towards sunway... so i asked him wheather he wanna stay there or head to somewhere else... coz i noe he might dont want our geng to know that he are actually taking me out for valentine... huhu... (mls nk kena gelak n sakat ngan member sbnrnya... huhu..) then, he say >>> lets go to the curve...

8) when we reach the curve, i asked him where and what are we actually doing there at curve... he say, lets go watch movie... huhu... then, i asked what movie... he say lets take a look a Valentine first... n i was shocked when he actually says that.. huhu... but then, while waiting for our turn, i asked him again izit true that he want to watch that movie... then he only 'sengih' to me... i ckp 'tak yah paksa lau tak nak tgk... kita tgk cita lain...' then, he seems to be 'serba-salah'... so, i say, lets watch "Percy Jackson & the Lightning thief" instead of watching "Valentine"... and he was so happy for my decision... (another point here - coz he actually want to 'take care of my heart n feeling' when he decide to watch V eventho he doesnt really want to...hahha...) n after that, he kept on saying sorry to me for not watching V... sweet isn't it??? huhu... perhaps, he did say, 'kita tgk V tu hari lain k?'... OMG... tatau da nk ckp camana.. huhu..

9) while waiting for the movie, we have a chit chat outside the Ceneleisure... a lot of topic we were discover... huhu... n frankly speaking im the one who had done a lot of talking instead of him... he were patiently listening to me... OMG.... :)

10) there's a lot of great memories i had with him last night... but if i want to tell every single thing, its not going to finish... hehhe... but then, this is the best part.... when he sent me home, he tell me not to forget my 'bunga telur' from the wedding that i put at the back sit of his car... but then, when i want to take it, he say 'wait... let me..' then he take all of my things (bunga telur package n a bag plastic from my babe).. when i was busy with my things, suddenly he hand out a pinky bag to me... n i was really shocked for that n i asked 'what is this?' then he laughed n say 'for u on a valentine day'... OMG!!! he really made me speechless n very shocked with that.. huhu.. n i dont noe how was my expression that time... seriously i dont even think that he had a surprise present for me... n he really made me speechless n i dont what to say again.. huhuhu... i was really shocked that time.. huhu...

>>> he gave me a 'cat' name tiffany n Beryl's Romance Milk & White Choc.... :)

>>> when i reached home, i thanked him by sms... and what he said in the SMSes was really made me flying to the stars... huhu... does he feel the same way as i do????

>>> i am actually dont want to put so much hope towards him becoz im afraid he didnt feel the same way as i do... but, from his act, his behavior, his words, his treat ; im quite confident that he is actually share the same feeling with me... but i cant made any conclusion until he confess or at least telling me what he feel inside of his heart...

>>> so now, just act like usual... huhuhu... 'lau ada jodoh tak kemana...' apapun, i will owez terima dengan redha... harap2 ada sinar bhgia untuk ku.... :)

It's New Year 2010!!!~

It's been a while that i updated my blog... huhu... today is 01012010.... a new day in a new year.... :) Wishing u a happy new year n may this year bring more happiness, joy, love, health and wealth to us... n may this year be better than last year... ;) when coming to new year, people usually ask u what is ur resolution... for a few years back, i never made any resolution to avoid frustration at the end of the year when that resolution doesnt goes like what u want it to be... heheh... but, for this new year 2010, my heart are open to make resolutions... but i wanna put it in a few phases... :) here goes my phases of resolutions :

1) phase 1 (time for accomplish it is within jan to may 2010) :
a) i want to raise up my pointer to a better one
b) i should try as hard as i can to get a dean list for my final semester
c) i have to be more hardworking n if possible avoid laziness from controlling me myself... ;)
d) i want to slow down in involving myself in programmes and activities... i should had enough for the last 2 years back for my resume.. huhu..
e) i wanna make my parents happy and proud of me towards the end of my bachelorhood... :)

2) phase 2 (time for accomplish are after may 2010 n most probably can be done after my graduation day around october 2010) :
a) i would like to search for a job in C n S consultant offices
b) if possible i want to be a structural engineer
c) i want a big number of salary... huhu
d) but if i cant get to work in consultant, i'd go for developer n my last resort will be working in contractor's company.
e) places that are in consideration of applying is within KL, Shah Alam, Damansara, Petaling Jaya, Ampang or to be shorten, within Klang Valley area.
f) If i have an offer from a construction company, i would preferably go for Site Engineer and not C.O.W. Safety Officer will be in consideration as well.

3) phase 3 (time for accomplish is after may 2010 and before i get a job) :
a) i would like to travel the whole western of Malaysia.... if possible i would like to go to each and every state and town. (but this is depending on my budget later... huhu... )

4) phase 4 (time for accomplish are within the whole year of 2010) :
a) to be a better person, daughter, sister, bestfriend, niece, granddaughter, cousin, friend n many more...
b) to search for 'my-knight-in-shining-amor' or to be exact search for 'him'...
c) to gain more money and wealth
d) to enjoy wisely....


for meanwhile, this are 4 phases of my resolutions... it might grow up in future because we don't know what is our fate and what miracle will happen.. hope i can make all this 4 phases or part of it come true within this 1 year... n hope u will too~ njoy ur new year n last but not least, Happy 2010.... :)

"LAFAZ BUKAN MAINAN"

"Lafaz Bukan Mainan" sebuah drama melayu yang i tengok hari ni (jumaat) kat TV2. It was really a great drama by eurofine picture sdn. bhd. mengisahkan seorang lelaki yang bernama Haikal yang jahil tentang hukum hakam agama... dia sering malafazkan talak bila bergurau dengan isterinya... katanya, talak itu tidak jatuh kerana dia berniat bermain-main sahaja.... pada satu hari, di tepi pantai, dia bergurau dengan isterinya dan dia melafazkan talak. 'aku ceraikan kau. kau nak talak berapa?' isteri nya dengan jahil nya pun menjawab 'abang nak bagi berapa?' haikal pun menjawab '10 cukup?' dan mereka terus ketawa senang hati tanpa memikirkan impaknya mainan itu pada kehidupan mereka... setelah ditegur oleh rakan, mereka kembali ke tempat asal dan bertanya kepada ibu dan ayah mereka... dan akhirnya, bapa mertua haikal memberitahu bahawa, talak 3 telah jatuh kepada rita, isteri haikal. haikal bermati-matian mempertahankan bahawa dia tidak berniat dan sekadar berjenaka... namun, apakan daya, talak itu telah jatuh... seperti yang kita tahu, apabila talak tiga itu jatuh, maka suami dan isteri itu tidak boleh rujuk semula... tapi mereka boleh berkahwin semula apabila isteri tersebut berkahwin lain dan diceraikan oleh suami barunya... dan jika dia hendak merujuk semula kepada bekas suami pertama, maka mereka dibenarkan kembali bersama dengan berkahwin semula dan bukan rujuk... di sinilah timbul konsep cina buta... bila mana si suami pertama akan mencari lelaki lain yang sanggup menikahi isterinya dan menceraikannya dan membolehkan dia dan isterinya kembali bersama... i baru tahu bahawa hukum cina buta itu adalah haram dan orang yang mengamalkan konsep cina buta itu akan dilaknat Allah... dan i baru tahu rupanya konsep cina buta itu banyak diamalkan oleh masyarakat kita... MASYAALLAH... betapa jahilnya kita sebagai manusia... Untuk dikongsi bersama :
3 perkara yang dalam keadaan apa sekali pun akan tetap terjadi (sama ada dalam keadaan bergurau, serius, melawak, sindiran, tidak terniat, atau seumpama yang berkaitan..) :
1) nikah dan kahwin
2) talak
3) rujuk
apapun, drama "lafaz bukan mainan" ni memang sangat padat isinya dan memberi pengajaran kepada kita terutama yang beragama islam... tapi satu yang membuat i tersenyum adalah kata dari salah seorang pelakon dari drama itu, Ebi Kornellis yang merupakan bekas pelajar af... "Orang Sabah telah lama menerima orang semenanjung.." menunjukkan betapa Sabah dan Sarawak sangat mulia hati mereka apabila menerima orang semenanjung... tak seperti orang semenanjung yang asyik menolak Sabah dan Sarawak... Mencaci mereka... dan menganggap mereka sangat kuno berbanding yang di semenanjung... sesungguhnya, bukakanlah hati dan minda anda.... kita semua dilahirkan sama sahaja disisi-Nya... hanya amal dan taqwa sahaja membezakan kita...
MORAL OF THE STORY :
1) dalami dan pelajarilah hukum hakam agama... sekurang-kurangnya tahu mengenai asas agama Islam... Islam itu indah..
2) jadilah insan berilmu dan jangan jadi manusia yang jahil... ILMU ITU ADALAH PELITA HIDUP..
3) untuk bakal isteri, carilah calon suami yang boleh membimbing anda ke jalan yang diredhai-Nya... seorang suami yang boleh membawa rumah tangga anda menjadi Jannatul Baiti dan tidak bermain-main dengan talak yang berkuasa di dalam genggamannya...
4) terimalah insan lain seadanya kerana kita semua sama sahaja di sisi-Nya... hanya amal dan taqwa membezakan kita...
5) blog ini sekadar untuk berkongsi ilmu, luahan rasa...bukan untuk menghina dan membabitkan sesiapa... seandainya ada yang terasa, ampun dan maaf dipinta... tidak terniat untuk menyakiti hati sesiapa..

renungi dan fikirkan... Wallauhalam...